We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
