I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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