Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
