I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
