They should really pass out barf bags in church
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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