she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
