You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
