I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
