He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
