I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
pop tarts are not kleenex
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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