What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize