Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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