we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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