I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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