Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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