Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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