so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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