I'm gonna have a badass scar
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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