I just made out with a guy for $7.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
50% drunk capacity currently
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
