the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
