When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
