How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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