Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
