I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
