the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
