i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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