I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
