what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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