apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
