if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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