pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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