can we get nightvision for the apartment?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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