Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
