Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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  (401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek
  Replies (41) Good night (838) Bad night (2680)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

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  (610): There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet http://tfl.nu/0mzt
  Replies (24) Good night (1750) Bad night (2101)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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  (781): At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like http://tfl.nu/8q6a
  Replies (18) Good night (1571) Bad night (4918)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

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  (207): i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea (1-207): probs a good idea (207): i like the whole idea of life and being alive (1-207): you sure you're not high? http://tfl.nu/e7l1
  Replies (29) Good night (5791) Bad night (902)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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  (941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol
  Replies (32) Good night (1659) Bad night (6990)
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  (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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  (760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780
  Replies (6) Good night (3270) Bad night (911)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.

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  (941): You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard. http://tfl.nu/vxrl
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (1266)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?

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  (914): Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday? http://tfl.nu/1qeg
  Replies (4) Good night (457) Bad night (795)
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  (818): View more from California

  more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt

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  (818): more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt http://tfl.nu/uly3
  Replies (14) Good night (1785) Bad night (932)
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  (408): View more from California

  We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.

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  (408): We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn. http://tfl.nu/p0jo
  Replies (21) Good night (1267) Bad night (530)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.

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  (563): Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me. http://tfl.nu/48rp
  Replies (11) Good night (3287) Bad night (791)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.

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  (513): Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right. http://tfl.nu/n7uj
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (504)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.

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  (773): All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now. http://tfl.nu/dqh8
  Replies (6) Good night (833) Bad night (299)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  Yeah, that's a plus.

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  (256): In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet. (1-256): Yeah, that's a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1dz
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (208)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.

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  (904): I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco. http://tfl.nu/2q18
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (241)

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