Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i just wanna soil my oats bro

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  (949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck
  Replies (8) Good night (949) Bad night (657)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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  (770): I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today http://tfl.nu/7gup
  Replies (6) Good night (1183) Bad night (511)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy

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  (512): i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy http://tfl.nu/sv21
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (1889)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

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  (503): He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song. (1-503): Marry him http://tfl.nu/vquy
  Replies (39) Good night (9390) Bad night (1050)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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  (914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9
  Replies (44) Good night (5510) Bad night (914)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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  (803): I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for. http://tfl.nu/ljvy
  Replies (9) Good night (3770) Bad night (1182)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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  (850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE! http://tfl.nu/ymdz
  Replies (7) Good night (4607) Bad night (926)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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  (703): You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist. http://tfl.nu/4hjw
  Replies (4) Good night (1018) Bad night (3836)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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  (914): I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already http://tfl.nu/bq9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1462) Bad night (3586)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted

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  (343): His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted http://tfl.nu/gnt2
  Replies (10) Good night (4912) Bad night (894)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?

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  (304): 1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex? http://tfl.nu/mw5g
  Replies (7) Good night (2969) Bad night (959)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?

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  (609): LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER? http://tfl.nu/1zq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (661)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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  (504): There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here. http://tfl.nu/vhqg
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (294)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high

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  (314): I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high http://tfl.nu/02c4
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (287)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.

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  (404): Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world. http://tfl.nu/lt97
  Replies (8) Good night (390) Bad night (760)

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