Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.