every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
