Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
