i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
