That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
