what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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