shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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