In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
