I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
