He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
