just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
