How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
