I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
