Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
