What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
