you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
