Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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