I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
two words: eviction party
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
