I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
