I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
