Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
