my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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