YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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