a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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