And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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