im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
