I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
