dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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