she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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