We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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