How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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