I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
