I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize