so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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